Trying to process things semi-catatonically is never a good idea. I should have realised this once and for all back in 1998, when I awakened at 3am CONVINCED of the perfect idea that would make my PhD thesis a Nobel Prize winner. Unable to get back to sleep, I grabbed pencil and paper, covered approximately 5 pages with my groundbreaking musings, and, content, went back to sleep.
In the morning, I was confronted with 5 pages of gibberish, and a loss of 2 hours of REM sleep.
Back to 2011, and this morning a bad flare up of arthritis (granny that I am at 36) combined with too much work before bed and my mind was whirring, but more like Allie Brosh's Simple Dog from "Hyperbole and a Half" than Einstein:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-basic-concepts.html (thanks, Allie. You rule).
Among the miscellaneous, helicopter-and-random-coloured-shapes style thoughts were
- packing
- work
- scanning recipes to take (don't ask)
- work
- being a domestic goddess and cleaning the house and cooking frozen meals like a champion before I left (despite Sean's insistence that this was entirely unnecessary)
- work
- the fact that I was going to feel like rubbish for the rest of the day by staying awake and having helicopter-and-coloured-shapes thoughts
So I thought, okay, what's the best move given that
a) I'm thinking helicopters and random coloured shapes, rather than anything that resembles logic, and
b) There's no way in heck I'm getting back to sleep?
Answer: get up.
So, my brainiac idea regarding packing (one of the few of the abovementioned problems with which my neural system could realistically cope at 6am) was to fire up the Mac and check out my photo albums from past trips to similar climes, to get an idea of what would be good to put in the suitcase. Of course, the Mac doesn't fire up (because it's me, not Sean, who wants to turn it on).
Mac: I'm easy to start! Just press "return"! Oh, and if that doesn't work, just press my on/off button on the back! I'm shiny! I'm user friendly!
Nat: Sure, I can handle that! *return*
Mac: *nothing*
##Nat: *button on back*
Mac: *defiant vibration, no on-switching*
Nat: *return*
Mac: You're not the I.T. man. HAHAHAHAHA! I REFUSE to behave for YOU!!!
*repeat from ##*
Nat: @#*&#!$!!
(if Sean were awake, the next installment would be Sean calmly pushing button and Mac submissively purring into instant life)
So, okay, there's still a zillion other practical things I could do at this point (like, well, actually start packing), but lulled by that false sense of security one obtains at 6:47am when you're all "hahahahhaa, it's still robo early and I can fool myself that the rest of the world is asleep", and with visions of my blog going viral and changing the world in manner of Laughing Baby or similar, I'm all "hehehehe, what the hell, let's blog".
(Speaking of viral internet hits, the U.K. ad for T mobile featuring a spoof of the upcoming Royal Wedding has had me turning my frown upside down. Check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kav0FEhtLug. The fact that the Royal Wedding is on the same day as I fly out is a very unfortunate piece of bad timing on my part. I was all about having an awesome U.K. style spoof street party and then enjoying every bit of the wedding as a raving royalist. But I digress. Again.)
As for the packing thing, well, you'd think that after, what, 12 trips overseas (not that I'm counting or anything), I'd be the MASTER at packing. Not so. I have recurring dreams of evacuating my house during a bushfire and trying to fit as much rubbish as possible in my car boot (I was scarred by being an 8 year old Adelaidean during Ash Wednesday in 1983). Packing evokes similar fears of being at the airport/at destination and thinking "Damn! I should have packed X". Never mind the fact that the U.S.A. is only the epicentre of the shopping universe.
Actually, I'm not so bad anymore, but I do wonder why I can't do the smug "capsule wardrobe" magazine article thing. Schyeah, right. Especially when you're traversing multiple climates and activities. I can just see it now. Little corporate work outfit centered around no-crease dress, ideal for giving scientific presentation to high-flying lab group, also doubles perfectly for clambering volcanoes and Mayan ruins. Not.
Never mind. The point is, I know from past experience that it WILL all get done, somehow, and despite aforementioned incompetency, I will calmly pack the necessary clothes in half an hour (and even remember my underwear), and if I'm really lucky, the crazed, oops, I mean invigorating, stress and sleep deprivation may even lead to some bonus weight loss.
Speaking of which, I hope you all have a wonderfully Happy Easter and throw caution to the wind by getting amongst some serious chocolate consumption. Given that last Easter I was already in the U.S. bemoaning the lack of public holidays for same in California, and tipping the hotel maid with Cadbury Creme Eggs, partially to save myself scoffing them in a fit of self-pity, I'm already on top of the game.
Here's a lovely Easter-themed pic of some lop-eared rabbits that I stumbled across while heading to the outdoor facilities at a cafe recently. Random, but very, very cute.
And now, if you'll excuse me, it's 7am and I have some panicking (and packing) to do.
Natalie x
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